Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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