Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
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