My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
