too bad you live with your parents still
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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