Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
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