I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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