It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
