How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
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