Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
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