One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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