It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Randomize
