do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
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