Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
