Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
