I love black thongs
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize
