Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
Randomize