is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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