considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
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