i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
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