After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Randomize
