What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
What a dumb baby whore.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
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