is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
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