i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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