Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize
