Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
