chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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