Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
It's blow job season.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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