Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Randomize
