I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Randomize
