the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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