He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
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