I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
