is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
