I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
God, you're like boner-b-gone
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
