return my video game
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize
