i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
