i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
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