i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
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