Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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