he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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