I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
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