People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
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