No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Are we still banned from the library?
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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