I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Randomize
