Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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