she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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