I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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