I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
