I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Randomize
