I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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