This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Randomize
