Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize