Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
