# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
