My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
