question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Randomize
