I'm really into asian looking animals
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
