so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize