Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
