Duck Duck Cougar?
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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